Its how depressing a Friday spent without you is. Today is the 14th.
I guess this number is not significant to you anymore right? I just wonder how ruthless/heartless you can be. Just 1 week. 1 fucking week is all it takes to change you.
Yesterday I seemed so helpess. You sent me messages asking me to let go of you. So damn heartless. I cried but I didn't want my family to know, I got out of the house. I called you but you didn't answer.. At that time, I thought of nothing but just wanting to see your face. I took a cab to your house, the journey seems long. Longer than usual. Traffic wasn't congested. I ran up to your house, saw you sitting infront of your laptop. I hid behind your gate, tried calling you. I saw the way you rejected my call. I felt so broken, I don't wanna step in anymore.
But I still did. Although that talk between us that lasted 2hours did not help in any way.
I'm really so sad. The very first time you hurt me so bad.. The damage is so bad...till I can't breathe. I don't want it to be this way. I tried all means to pull you back, I forced you I begged you. I did everything. I let my dignity and pride down. I was so thick skinned to have hug a man who don't even love me and pushed me away. I held your hands so tight, but you, somehow you wanna get free away from it. I was so tired, so exhausted.
And I often get awake from sleep in the night thinking about you. I saw cherry, the bear you gave me. I hugged her tight. That was the only thing I could use to substitute you. I wanna hug you so badly, see you so much. I'm so sad that everything I did, did not help. I really feel like dying.. Why would you choose to hurt someone who love you so much? Why baby? Am I dreaming?
WHY?
I even said the messages you sent were not you. Because zhangchao won't hurt me like you did. He won't. Zhangchao won't...the one I knew won't..
I guess this number is not significant to you anymore right? I just wonder how ruthless/heartless you can be. Just 1 week. 1 fucking week is all it takes to change you.
Yesterday I seemed so helpess. You sent me messages asking me to let go of you. So damn heartless. I cried but I didn't want my family to know, I got out of the house. I called you but you didn't answer.. At that time, I thought of nothing but just wanting to see your face. I took a cab to your house, the journey seems long. Longer than usual. Traffic wasn't congested. I ran up to your house, saw you sitting infront of your laptop. I hid behind your gate, tried calling you. I saw the way you rejected my call. I felt so broken, I don't wanna step in anymore.
But I still did. Although that talk between us that lasted 2hours did not help in any way.
I'm really so sad. The very first time you hurt me so bad.. The damage is so bad...till I can't breathe. I don't want it to be this way. I tried all means to pull you back, I forced you I begged you. I did everything. I let my dignity and pride down. I was so thick skinned to have hug a man who don't even love me and pushed me away. I held your hands so tight, but you, somehow you wanna get free away from it. I was so tired, so exhausted.
And I often get awake from sleep in the night thinking about you. I saw cherry, the bear you gave me. I hugged her tight. That was the only thing I could use to substitute you. I wanna hug you so badly, see you so much. I'm so sad that everything I did, did not help. I really feel like dying.. Why would you choose to hurt someone who love you so much? Why baby? Am I dreaming?
WHY?
I even said the messages you sent were not you. Because zhangchao won't hurt me like you did. He won't. Zhangchao won't...the one I knew won't..
posted by Jiaying at
9:15 AM
2 Comments:
Jiaying, I know you rly love him a lot but it's time to let go, since he doesn't care anymore, so you must be strong for yourself and do your best to move on! You can try and try to get him back, but if he's not interested, even trying for the millionth time won't work. Nothing is going to change. Learn to smile and love again. It may take time but that's what you need - time. Time for yourself, to work on yourself. Don't let the memories and the anguish of it stop you from being happy. If you have to be happy without him now, then you need to move on. Yeah, maybe he is one out of a trillion, but you deserve better, you deserve the love that you want. Be optimistic and view this as a blessing in disguise. As a chance to see if he is really the one for you, a chance to see if you really can't find anyone else better. And if he's not, then it's just not meant to be, yknow? You can't make him love you if he don't. There IS someone out there who will love you and make you much happier than he ever did, and you're only 16 after all, it's not the end of your love life! ;) I'm sure someone else out there is looking for you to make both you and him happy. :)
So cheer up and be strong for yourself, and remember that you still have your family and friends who loves you just as much, or even more, than he did. :)
I need a lot of time. But I still hope he'll be back again. Sigh, I really don't know what to say. Maybe I'm foolish. But I know what I'm doing.. Thanks anyway (:
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