I've got no idea what to do next. I mean, like I'm already all broken I can't even handle myself properly. I really feel like dying..

I don't know whats' wrong with love, its so scary.. Really, really. You have to trust every word that I type out here. You know love makes you feel so wonderful yet it is the best weapon to cripple your heart. I've never been so hurt like this before.
And the way he look at me now is totally different from the past. I know I should stop living in the past. But how could I fucking not when its one of my best years spent in my entire life?!
Ok, maybe I need time. Yes, thats what he needs to. I persuaded him to not give up so easily, the verdict is still not out yet. But I already know whats the answer in his heart.

And my life have been so horrible. I hate staying at home now. I dread whenever Kakak asks about Zhangchao, yesterday she even messaged him to ask why he did not come to our house for so long. Sigh. And my grandmum, the most observant of all - she noticed I was sad ):
I know, I can't hide my feelings well. But this time I tried my best to cover up every part of my face that showed unhappiness.

I can't even eat well or sleep well. Like I said, I often get awake during sleep and start thinking if everything was meant to be. Last night, I sat up and kept looking at my phone, I wanted so badly to receive your message, yet I'm afraid the content of your message would hurt me. The sky was red, lightning kept flashing, it seemed like the world was going to end.

I hope whenever you eat Auntie Anne's pretzel, you'll remember me.