Hey there, I'm not using 'First love' as an excuse to not get over this guy.
I'm not using 'he's the only guy I've ever been in a relationship with for so long'.
No, I'm not.

Let me tell you what, time can never measure love. It doesn't mean how long we've been together, determines how much time I'll use to get over him. Yes, I know time is precious. But, whoever out there could say this easily. "Stop wasting your time on him."
I know, but, its always easier said than done, right? Don't you agree?
I've been trying, trying to get over him; yet on the other hand - I'm trying to get him back.

I know everyone's gonna throw me a million reason, from on how bad he've treated me, till how undeserving he is to have a girl like me.
I know. You all care. But, seriously who's to say who deserves me more?


*


I've been busy everyday, with my schoolwork, coursework, preparations for O's.
Sometimes, I genuinely hope you're there for me. Like how I was - there for you, last year. Yknow, I don't wanna have a fair share of what I gave you - you must give it back to me. Because I know this world is unfair. And you're selfish, baby.
But, I never blamed you for that. I just hate, whenever you apologised for hurting me. You know what? Don't be sorry baby, just be there for me - was all I ever asked for. Seriously, am I so hard to please?
I know, this 'unable-to-let-go-relationship' is getting worse. And I know, you're feeling worn out and exhausted by me. I know so many things, and I know how you and your friends are looking upon me as a extremely thick skinned and lowdown girl.
You know, just sometimes its so hard to leave me hanging on by the edge, yet to worsen it by leaving a few splinters to prickle on me.. Its just so hard, and the only reason that I'm refusing to budge and still hanging on here is because, I genuinely love you.
How could you ever doubt that?