I am

going to plan beautiful outings for us.
I will take meaningful pictures of us.
I will do everything to make our relationship stay strong.
I'll trust, have faith in you and most importantly, love you.

Have everything turned for the better or worse?
Have the wait been proved to be worthwhile?
Have we proved everyone wrong?

I'm too afraid to say anything now.

Nobody understands how much I miss you, miss how much we used to talk and miss all the thing we use to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you and I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we’re not.

When are kisses given

OH MY GOD

my new blog template doesn't indicate any date and day?!?!?


:(

just some rambling and rants.

Sometimes I feel so weird, so outta place, so empty, so different, so hollow...

I don't know what's up with me.. I do not want to talk about issues regarding you anymore in here, I'm just repeating myself again and again. I'm just causing misery and sorrows to myself.
What for?

I'm contented that I'm finally independent, being able to stand on my own feet, being able to earn my monthly expenses, being able to......be without you..

No one can trust just how weak I was. I was really such a weakling in the past. I meet my boyfriend everyday. I see him everyday, I always think I can't live without him, that my days will be dark without him and all...
I belittled myself so much that I've been hiding my true, independent self.

Actually, everyone can be strong and independent. I'm not saying this just for fun, its for real - I underwent everything and I clearly know how it feels.

I was a cry baby, a clingy girlfriend, a worrying girl. I'm everything that describes the word - weak.

I was literally weak. Everyone consoled and persuaded me to give up and move on. Some even tried to prove my worthiness and my strength.

I was no longer that cries herself to sleep every night. I was no longer that girlfriend that gives a call to her boyfriend every half to one hour. I became independent and went with the flow.

I stood firm to the ground. My heart was broken but I'm still strong.

Everything I went through just made me tougher.

As cliche as it sounds - "what doesn't kill makes you stronger."

8 months ago

I had no friends, no nothing. I stick to my boyfriend all day long that I was isolated from the rest of my friends

8 months later,
This is where I am now.

It’s just a horrible feeling to say goodbye to someone you care about that much.

Its a 14th today and also a Friday.

Ever since I've got together with you on 2009, I've been keeping a close lookout on the calender to specially highlight every 14th of the month which is on a Friday. And today, is one of them.

Very sadly, we won't be even able to celebrate together today. Our 23rd months together.

Next month will be our 2 year anniversary.

And all I can say is, I miss you and I'll still wait. Trust me baby.

Today was special

It finally marks the last day of me stepping in East View as a student! I am finally out of this school!
Headed to school awkwardly and collected my 'O' level certificate. It was a weird feeling, not knowing to be happy or sad. Scared and nervous, everything just adds in to the mood and atmosphere.
Stepped in the hall and my heart was beating at 1000000times/s that it almost jumped out of my throat! I was so nervous already and yet Veera still had the cheek to chase me out of the hall just because of my hair colour! *&^%&*^%&^%$!!!!

Sprayed my hair to charcoal black and went in the hall again! It was receiving results time.....everyone took their time........so did I......
I laid my ass on the chair and was already crying.....and Miss Tan said..."take your time to look through the booklet, you may get into a Polytechnic."

And I was in a un-calm state. My mind was like "Huh?!? Only may get into a Polytechnic?! Means cannot get into ah? I'm doomed!"

I got back to my seat and look at my certificate and saw my English grade. I cried non-stop(for that moment, I was producing liquid free-flowingly)
I see. I cry. I see again. I CRY EVEN LOUDER. Imagine how drama am I?!?!

I opened the envelope which contains my COP and also the number of courses I'm eligible for. (srsly, it took me so long to open that god damn envelope and I was crying lika baby!!!!)

I finally open and I don't know how to read it and I don't know why there's so many C67,C99,N55 all these! Then I still crying, cannot stop one.
And I don't know how to see my COP! Finally I figured out and I was like "OMG, SO HIGH GO WHERE STUDY? ITE? PRIVATE? RETAKE? OR GO JUMP BULDING??"
Then I start crying again.......... then Jessie told me the C67.C99,N55 is all poly courses! HAHAHAHHAHAHA. -.-

Then I cry so long then realise I can go Polytechnic. Yes, dumb!
Anyway I passed all my subjects! However, the only disappointing one would be my English :(
I regretted writing so neatly for the examiner that I do not have ample time to finish up my composition! URGHHH. KILL ME.

Anyway, MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT, Please learn how to read COP and the C67,C989,N55 all these! If not will end up like me, CRY FOR NOTHING.

Nevertheless, it was a happy day for me :)

"Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary."

Is this quote even justified?

If a girl

is stupid enough to love you after you broke her heart, I guarantee you, she is the one.

viatumblr.

Alright,

This shall be the last post published using my current lappy.
Reason being, I'm gonna get a new lappy soon!

This lappy was a gift from my uncle for my 16th birthday last year...... Its a very expensive and nice lappy that cost near to 3k....LOL.
I love this lappy very much, but I have to let go of this baby as Mom have already ordered my new Hp lappy to be delievered to our house doorstep by next week.

Yeah......
I really can't bear to leave this lappy....as most of this post written here are published by this baby.... I am a very sentimental person that goes for old things rather than new.
Not good right :(

But well, like Mom said, "the old don't go, the new won't come..."

I guess this quote applies in my relationship too!

All e best to me receiving my new lappy next week :)

Byebye everyone :0

I can

be your wife, bear you kids, provide you with a cosy warm home, make you breakfast, tie your tie, make you coffee.
I can and I will.

I love you.

Just maybe,

One day we could both switch identities. You'll be me for a day, and I'll be you for a day.

Maybe just then, you'd know it isn't easy to hang on so long? With your hot and cold attitude towards me. With you giving me all the false hopes and leave me hanging halfway..
Maybe, just then you'll know how painful it'll be for me.



But, sorry, I just can't bear to put you in such pain.

When you want to leave.

Have you ever thought of the consequences?



you never did, did you?

what am i when

you love me, you miss me, you need me.
and you do nnot give me a status?

And know whats the best part? I love you too, very much, actually.

First of all, happy new year!
A new year, a new start and a new me. Many things have changed and I don't know how to react to it. I felt like there's so many things holding me back from starting anew.
Feeling like jumping back into the old hole and hide myself up from everyone..

Oh anyway more updates about me is I'm starting on a new job. Heheheheheheeee. Nice working environment and the best damn thing is that I can wear my favourite denim shorts! No more long pants!

2011, which means I've grown 1 year older, just like everyone else.
A year older, I promise to be more sensible and obedient. I will stop throwing my princess tantrums as and when I love. I will learn to................ move on!
HAHHAHAHA. IKR. That's the most important thing. To move the fuck on.
Yeah, till then.