I never stopped loving you.

I just quit showing it.

Been busy day and night. All day long. But I never stop thinking about you. Even in my dreams, sweet or nightmare, you're always there.
But, in reality, when I need you, you aren't there.

I hope you could see how hard I try to avoid seeing and talking to you. I've been trying my best to suppress all my thoughts and wishful thinkings of talking to you. Because I know, even if we do talk, if we do see each other again; it wouldn't be the same anymore. And I know you well, I know, you'll feel miserable.
But, again, I don't know you that well. Why did you choose to end things this way? I really don't know, and I can't understand you - it fears me.

It completely scares me to realize that the one whom I once understands so well would..


Congratulations, its another 13th today. We're officially apart for 2 months after being together for 15 months. This 2 months I've led a life of hell.
Not in physical though. Physically I shopped my days off.. I bought things I like, I spent money on things I love. I do things that I enjoy.
But emotionally, I'm breaking. I break, I broke. I'm broken. And the worst is, being unable to repair it anymore. The damage is done.
I've been living in hell, suffering all the loneliness. Seeing sweet couples in the streets is akin to the hot burning flames in hell.. I'm dying. Or I wished I was dead.


I'm amused by how my friends around me think I'm completely over you and thought I'm ready for a new relationship. But, baby, I'm telling you - I'm not over you yet.

Today is the 13th, tomorrow would be the 14th. If I ever could gave you enough reasons to stay, it would be our 17months tomorrow. And all I can say would be, I'm the luckiest girl on earth. But sadly, its only an 'if'.