And I'm tired
of feeling this way..
My morning started off pretty pleasant. I was awakened by the cold wind that kept hitting against my skin. I got up my bed and smiled to myself pretty widely and told my sister Hey I dreamt of Zhangchao again!
And as a sister, she couldn't say much. Just smiled and said, Aiya, you again. Dream will always be a dream.
Sad but true, the reality is always broken and hurting. I made my way to the bathroom to have my teeth brushed and face washed. I sticked my tongue out, it was swelling due to the piercing.. The swell hurts, but it still couldn't be compared to the pain in my heart.
Me and my sister, then made our way to the coffeeshop nearby my maternal grandmum's house to meet my parents and, grandmum for breakfast..
I did not talk much during the meal, I just kept quiet. I did not have the mood as the weather was cold and I did not want my parents to find out about my tongue piercing. So I just kept stuffing food into my mouth, till it was full and wouldn't be visible when I speak..
After the meal, we headed off to buy some fruits. And there, we passed by a coffeeshop which reminds me of Z.
It happened last year, around December. It was a rainy morning as well, and Z just had a bad hangover over at his friend's house. They chilled out till 8 in the morning and headed to have breakfast at the coffeeshop. Z then knew, I was about to leave house for work and requested me to join them for breakfast as he really wanted to see me. I did, as its been a week since we last met. So, I saw him and his groups of friends..
Z was pretty much wasted but, he could still recognize me and was trying his best to be sober.
I ordered a bowl of duck porridge for him to keep his stomach warm in that cold weather. We shared the bowl of duck porridge. I never liked duck nor tasted duck. But I think, that was the most delicious porridge I've ever had. I don't know why, but everything else seems perfect. Just perfect, the perfect portion of porridge, the perfect type of weather and the perfect warmness of the porridge that kept our hearts warm. Just 1 mouth and another mouth.. I could see his friends looking at us, ain't in any awkward manner. But perhaps, with envy. They're envying us. I could feel it, it wasn't anymore cold. It became warm, everything around us warmed us..
The bowl of duck porridge was soon emptied by us. And Z told his friends that he had to leave first as I am late for work and Z wanted to send me to the MRT..
We made our way there. To the bus stop, in the bus. He was still feeling quite tired and dizzy after the night but when there's a seat available, he'd without hesitating leave the seat for me. I rejected and insisted on him seating. But he wouldn't listen. We reached the Interchange soon, and Z kissed me on the lips, twice, before letting me enter the gutter. I tapped my card, I got in. As I turned back, I could still see him looking all worried and his face that showed guilt about not sending me to City Hall instead. Unwillingly, he left after seeing me walking further ahead.
I got up the train and I saw him on the overhead bridge walking towards his bus stop. He couldn't see me but I could. It was so obvious as he was the only man standing there.
Then, my phone vibrated. It was a message from him. Asking me to take good care of myself and apologized again, for not being able to send me to City Hall. And ending off the message with, I may pick you tonight, love you! How heartwarming, wasn't it?
And all these that happened were true, it wasn't some cheesy stories that I made up. It was true and everything felt like yesterday. I'm not lying.
I love Zhangchao, and this is 1 fact that you couldn't change..
My morning started off pretty pleasant. I was awakened by the cold wind that kept hitting against my skin. I got up my bed and smiled to myself pretty widely and told my sister Hey I dreamt of Zhangchao again!
And as a sister, she couldn't say much. Just smiled and said, Aiya, you again. Dream will always be a dream.
Sad but true, the reality is always broken and hurting. I made my way to the bathroom to have my teeth brushed and face washed. I sticked my tongue out, it was swelling due to the piercing.. The swell hurts, but it still couldn't be compared to the pain in my heart.
Me and my sister, then made our way to the coffeeshop nearby my maternal grandmum's house to meet my parents and, grandmum for breakfast..
I did not talk much during the meal, I just kept quiet. I did not have the mood as the weather was cold and I did not want my parents to find out about my tongue piercing. So I just kept stuffing food into my mouth, till it was full and wouldn't be visible when I speak..
After the meal, we headed off to buy some fruits. And there, we passed by a coffeeshop which reminds me of Z.
It happened last year, around December. It was a rainy morning as well, and Z just had a bad hangover over at his friend's house. They chilled out till 8 in the morning and headed to have breakfast at the coffeeshop. Z then knew, I was about to leave house for work and requested me to join them for breakfast as he really wanted to see me. I did, as its been a week since we last met. So, I saw him and his groups of friends..
Z was pretty much wasted but, he could still recognize me and was trying his best to be sober.
I ordered a bowl of duck porridge for him to keep his stomach warm in that cold weather. We shared the bowl of duck porridge. I never liked duck nor tasted duck. But I think, that was the most delicious porridge I've ever had. I don't know why, but everything else seems perfect. Just perfect, the perfect portion of porridge, the perfect type of weather and the perfect warmness of the porridge that kept our hearts warm. Just 1 mouth and another mouth.. I could see his friends looking at us, ain't in any awkward manner. But perhaps, with envy. They're envying us. I could feel it, it wasn't anymore cold. It became warm, everything around us warmed us..
The bowl of duck porridge was soon emptied by us. And Z told his friends that he had to leave first as I am late for work and Z wanted to send me to the MRT..
We made our way there. To the bus stop, in the bus. He was still feeling quite tired and dizzy after the night but when there's a seat available, he'd without hesitating leave the seat for me. I rejected and insisted on him seating. But he wouldn't listen. We reached the Interchange soon, and Z kissed me on the lips, twice, before letting me enter the gutter. I tapped my card, I got in. As I turned back, I could still see him looking all worried and his face that showed guilt about not sending me to City Hall instead. Unwillingly, he left after seeing me walking further ahead.
I got up the train and I saw him on the overhead bridge walking towards his bus stop. He couldn't see me but I could. It was so obvious as he was the only man standing there.
Then, my phone vibrated. It was a message from him. Asking me to take good care of myself and apologized again, for not being able to send me to City Hall. And ending off the message with, I may pick you tonight, love you! How heartwarming, wasn't it?
And all these that happened were true, it wasn't some cheesy stories that I made up. It was true and everything felt like yesterday. I'm not lying.
I love Zhangchao, and this is 1 fact that you couldn't change..
posted by Jiaying at
3:31 PM
4 Comments:
i cried while reading your blog post.. Really wish that you and him can be together again. You guys are so perfect, really.. Good luck babe :)
Hey thankyou. Who're you? You must be a girl, and a very emotional one too (:
Thanks a lot, I hope that too. But its close to impossible that we'll ever be back together again. Thanks anyway (:
nothing is impossible. =) impossible is nothing :)!
But MaL, how could it be possible when it takes 2 hands to clap. I'm the only hand there, he's gone. And probably won't be back. Though all I ever wished for, was him to be back again...
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