The saltwater room
"So what if that jerk left you. Let go of the relationship or anything you lost, because God will restore. Double, greater, and 7 times better" -Pastor
I guess this is my limit. I've taken in so much more than I could ever take in, Baby I'm telling you now I'm tired. I told you many times - I'm a human, I have a heart like anyone else too. I don't see anything special about me which I could do whereby you can't. Tell me why this is happening to us, I've been begging for an answer from you. Your soft spoken 'I don't know' didn't help to ease the pain I'm feeling. It hurts to love someone wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
Why am I always stucked in such situations. God, please lead me the way out.
Today I was shocked, I shouldn't have met you at the first place. I shouldn't have been so thick-skinned to find you. Oh fuck. Congratulations, you succeeded in making me feel so hurt and unwanted. My hopes are all dashed. Its been my dream to study hard & get into NP to be in the same school as you. I'm so happy, telling family and friends around me that next time I would be able to get into the same school as you and we would be going to school together. I was so confident that I can get in that school. But never, never did I expect, you to ask me not to go to the same school as you. How could you? Am I dreaming? In the past you wished I could go in to the same school as you. But now? I always thought, never mind, its okay if I lost my best friend. As long as I've you, its fine.
You're ultimate, you're my friend and boyfriend. All I need was you - only half correct. Because I need you, but you don't need me. If I really don't care about this relationship, I would have long gave up. Rather than suffering all alone now. I should have given up, long ago to end the pain. But I did not, I believe that I'll have a future with you. I trusted that you're the man for me. You're the missing piece of jigsaw to complete my puzzle. But wait, am I thinking too far ahead? Am I?
Please Baby, don't fail me. Tomorrow is our 14months already. I remember a year ago we were happily counting down to our 2nd month's, excitedly.. This time its different. I can't lie to myself every time.
I guess some that reads my blog would be wondering why am I so sad everyday. But well, at least they cared. Unlike you, Baby. You barely read this site of mine, you don't know me. You ignore my feelings.
I guess this is my limit. I've taken in so much more than I could ever take in, Baby I'm telling you now I'm tired. I told you many times - I'm a human, I have a heart like anyone else too. I don't see anything special about me which I could do whereby you can't. Tell me why this is happening to us, I've been begging for an answer from you. Your soft spoken 'I don't know' didn't help to ease the pain I'm feeling. It hurts to love someone wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
Why am I always stucked in such situations. God, please lead me the way out.
Today I was shocked, I shouldn't have met you at the first place. I shouldn't have been so thick-skinned to find you. Oh fuck. Congratulations, you succeeded in making me feel so hurt and unwanted. My hopes are all dashed. Its been my dream to study hard & get into NP to be in the same school as you. I'm so happy, telling family and friends around me that next time I would be able to get into the same school as you and we would be going to school together. I was so confident that I can get in that school. But never, never did I expect, you to ask me not to go to the same school as you. How could you? Am I dreaming? In the past you wished I could go in to the same school as you. But now? I always thought, never mind, its okay if I lost my best friend. As long as I've you, its fine.
You're ultimate, you're my friend and boyfriend. All I need was you - only half correct. Because I need you, but you don't need me. If I really don't care about this relationship, I would have long gave up. Rather than suffering all alone now. I should have given up, long ago to end the pain. But I did not, I believe that I'll have a future with you. I trusted that you're the man for me. You're the missing piece of jigsaw to complete my puzzle. But wait, am I thinking too far ahead? Am I?
Please Baby, don't fail me. Tomorrow is our 14months already. I remember a year ago we were happily counting down to our 2nd month's, excitedly.. This time its different. I can't lie to myself every time.
I guess some that reads my blog would be wondering why am I so sad everyday. But well, at least they cared. Unlike you, Baby. You barely read this site of mine, you don't know me. You ignore my feelings.
posted by Jiaying at
10:37 PM
3 Comments:
Hey babe, I understand how you feel.
I can feel that you're really sad by reading your posts. I know it isn't easy but do cheer up alright?
And a advice; Never give him your everything, because guys'll always take it fr granted.
Hey there, thanks much (:
I've felt so much more better, thanks for the advice anyway (:
That's good. :)
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